i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
