so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
