I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
