Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Acid is not a monday night drug
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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