I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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