This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
