I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
