I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
