So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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