you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize