Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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