I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
