Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
