Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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