I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize