As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
