I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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