I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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