I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize