between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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