Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
