i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
