he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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