It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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