I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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