I smell stomach acid.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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