Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
