He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize