So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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