let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
