Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this just has baby written all over it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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