Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize