you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize