Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
