Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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