i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
