thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
