i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
