butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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