What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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