That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
