people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my shit smells like andre
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
