once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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