Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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