woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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