do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
