I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
