The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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