Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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