and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
