U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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