You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
