That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i love accidental penises.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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