One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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