I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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