before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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