I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night