You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
