They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
