Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
